Articles to make you think!!!!!
“LOVE TAKES TIME” -written by Kay-J
I remember the first time that I thought that I was in love. It was because the person who I thought was so good looking, started talking to me. At that time I was in junior high school. Then I thought love meant showering the person that you are dating, with gifts. Boy was I wrong! That was how I felt in high school. It wasn’t until after I graduated grad school, that I am starting to realize what love is, and how long it takes to actually get it. Too many people rush into situations because they want to be loved. However, what happens when that relationship goes south, and you still decide to stay in that relationship? Some people feel that they will never find anyone to at least match 70 percent of what they are looking for. However, you will never know how true/false that is, if you keep spending time with a man or woman who doesn’t appreciate you. I remember wanting to be in love so bad in college. I went to college in Miami, FL. In Miami, everything is based off of romance, you have South Beach, exotic restaurants, and beautiful people. I couldn’t help but want to fall in love. My senior year of college, I got into a relationship for all the WRONG reasons. I was forcing myself to find love. It was the most toxic relationship I have ever been in, and almost had my life in danger. I recently got out of a 3 year relationship because we had gotten together off of false pretenses. I pretty much said “Yes! I will be with you,” and I didn’t even really know this person. All I knew was that okay, I’m in grad school now, life is going great, and once again….I wanted love right then, and right now. I got lucky, even though I knew about a month after being together, that this was not the person I was supposed to be with, we made it work. However, the problems we were having in 2007 were still manifesting in 2010. I had to get out of this relationship because even though I still wanted love, and now I got comfortable with this person, I knew they were not the one for me. I was 22 years of age, and now I’m 27. Those are years that I cannot get back. Now, don’t get me wrong we had great times together, but I knew in my heart, it wasn’t going to last. Love takes time, it is not forced, it does not hurt, and it is not simple. As you get older in life, you need to start thinking about love for the long term, and not “baby mama” or “baby daddy” status. We already have enough of those running around. Even though the wedding date was set October 10, 2010, I only want to get married one time, and one time only. So if you are in a relationship, where you wake up everyday wondering what he/she is doing behind your back, or why are you with that person, chances are it won’t last. If you are staying because you feel you cannot move on without him/her, you will be miserable for as long as you are with him/her. I know it is hard to get out of relationships and situations, or to wait for the right person to fall in love with. Love takes time. However, settling is not a great thing to do either. You have got to have confidence in yourself, and love yourself to know that I will find love, but I need to make sure that he/she is completely right for me. Always asks yourself this question, can I see me raising a child with this man/woman, or spending the rest of my life with this woman/man? So remember, love takes time, and you will get there. There are over 6.6 billion people on this earth, there is someone out there for you! Love Always, Kay-J
Why Need A Name????!!!!
Written by: Christopher Johnson (Twitter: @ce_ellej)
In today’s society, sex has become the most common reasons for people to meet. For an example, if you explore the option of going on popular dating sites, it seems that no one cares about a persons name or who they are. They only care about what is inside your pants. I have tested this theory out.
I have composed a profile onto a specific site and waited as the messages poured in. To my surprise, I didn’t have to wait very long. At first some of the messages were a friendly “Hello!” Then I noticed, as the other messages started coming in, the users of the site were asking me to unlock my photos and others were wondering when we can meet up for sexual activities. These were the type of messsages that alarmed me, because it showed the ignorance of people for more than one reason:
1.) It clearly stated on my profile that I was looking for friendship. This proves to me that on these dating websites, NO ONE ACTUALLY READS what you have to say on there.
2.) None of the people on the website cared about who I was or my situation. They only cared about getting in bed with me. In my opinion, this means that they are careless, and reckless with their life. I could be a convicted felon who just got out of jail, waiting for my next prey.
With the messages that I got back from some of the users, I decided to see how far I can take it with these men, and see their reactions. I began to message men with sexual responses and waited to see if anyone would simply ask questions. For an example, what’s your name? age? or at least disease status. Now granted, this information could easily be found on my profile, but I have known of many instances where people do not change their profile information. One guy was 26 years old for FIVE YEARS!!! Anyway, none of the men of the site asked me any basic questions about myself. The questions that did arise from them were more like: where are you located? who do you stay with? can I/you host?, and then the questions became graphic. Some of the users wanted to know what I am going to do to them, when they arrive, or what they are going to do to me.
Phone numbers were given out as a way to talk about where to meet instead of as a way to talk and get to know someone. As for names, they either gave out an alias or initials as an identifier. It is behavior such as this that STDS are so prevalent in the gay community. People are so vague about their situations, and we allow them to be. We accept whatever people tell us, and then suffer dire consequences because of those types of actions.
I also had the opportunity to speak with someone who is HIV positive. In that conversation, I asked the question “What do you say to someone to help prevent them from getting STDS or HIV?” The answer was shocking to me “There is nothing that you can tell someone because people don’t listen until it’s too late!” I believe that we all can help with preventing these types of sexually transmitted diseases from spreading. You have got to LOVE YOURSELF, and ASK PEOPLE to get tested before you have sex with them, it is that simple. If they hesistate, then they do not respect you enough, and if that is the case….WHY HAVE SEX WITH THEM?????
There is no such thing on dating websites as “let’s chill and get to know each other.” Those are code words for let’s have sex. If that is what you choose to do, DO IT SAFELY. Remember we only get one chance to live life. LIVE IT RESPONSIBLY!!!
–by Kay-J (Editor
7. The most important rule I follow in a relationship is to COMMUNICATE. It is so very important to communicate with one another. Do not hold stuff in, however, do not be disrespectful when you have a disagreement with one another. This is the true way to keep a relationship alive.